Planning a funeral can be difficult under any circumstances; however, it can be particularly trying when you are a parent and have young children to look after. If you're in this situation, here are two tips that may make this challenging experience a little easier.
Let the funeral home take care of the finer details
If you were very close to the person who died, you probably want to ensure that every last detail of the funeral service is perfect.
This could lead to you trying to micromanage the funeral planning process instead of allowing the people who work at your chosen funeral home to take care of this work.
Whilst this is understandable, it is not a good idea if you have one or more children that you need to care for. The reason for this is as follows: losing a loved one can cause both mental and emotional strain.
As such, if you become fixated on planning the perfect funeral, the strain caused by your loved one's passing, coupled with the stress of trying to micromanage the planning process, could result in you burning out. If this should happen, you may then find it extremely difficult to take good care of your children.
Given this, it is important to make a conscious effort to let the director of the funeral home and their employees handle the bulk of planning the funeral.
After you have expressed what type of service you want, you should take their suggestions (regarding things like hymns, flowers, etc.) and let them handle tasks like getting in touch with a clergyperson or hiring an organist to perform at the service. This will lower your stress levels and thus make it easier for you and your family to get through this difficult period of your lives.
Tell the director of the funeral home if your children will be present at the funeral
It's important to tell the funeral home director if your children will be present at the funeral, as they can then take this into consideration when planning various aspects of the funeral.
For example, if you have a baby or a toddler, they may set up the seating arrangements so that you and your child are positioned close to an exit. This will ensure that, should your child start crying loudly during the service, you can easily pop outside for a few minutes and calm them down without having to clamber over other guests and cause major disruption to the service.
It's also important to tell the funeral home director if your children will be in attendance so that you can decide whether or not to have an open casket. If your children will be attending and they were close to the deceased, an open casket might frighten or overwhelm them.
As such, if you want your children to be there for the funeral service, the director may suggest that you opt for a closed casket.